Jameson

The following words from the song Hosanna by Hillsong have been swirling around in my heart and mind since I returned from visiting a feeding program through Child Hope yesterday afternoon. 

Heal my heart and make it clean

Open up my eyes to the things unseen

Show me how to love like you have loved me

Break my heart for what breaks yours

Everything I am for your kingdom’s cause

As I walk from earth into eternity

My heart broke yesterday.  On Monday afternoon, Erin, Meghan and I went to the home of Bill and Susette Manassero, founders of Child Hope, a ministry that had come highly recommended as an orphanage where Meghan could possibly spend some time volunteering (http://childhope.org/) .  We had a lovely visit with Susette who shared her family’s inspiring story about why they are serving in Haiti and the history of the orphanage they started.  We agreed to come to the boys’ home on Friday afternoon to help out with the feeding program that they offer to neighbourhood children on Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoons from 3:00-4:30.  The feeding program began several years ago when Susette and her family noticed a need for children in their neighbourhood.   Since handing out rice and beans meant that the food might not get into the mouths of these children, she decided to prepare meals for some children off of the back of her truck.  It grew and grew to a place where they now meet at the boys’ home and serve about 100 kids 3 times a week.  Sadly, she told me that funds are running low and she’s not sure they will be able to continue this part of the ministry. 

We arrived prior to 3:00 and many children were already lined up outside the gate looking forward to this special time in their week.  The children were warmly welcomed into the yard by staff and volunteers who played and interacted with the children.  After a while the children sat at tables and were led in a time of worship by a volunteer who included vibrant singing, clapping and praising the Lord as well as a brief talk and a skit telling the story of David and Goliath.  Then it was time for dinner which included rice and a bit of sauce with a small piece of meat.  I noticed that there was also a gummy bear on each plate as a special treat.  Each child was also given a cup of water.  I was told that for some children, this would likely be their only meal of the day.  The children seemed so appreciative.  We assisted by passing out plates of food and helping small children who needed our help.  It was all in Creole and although I am learning the language, the talking was way too fast for me to understand.   I pondered the story of David and Goliath and couldn't help but think about how these children are in situations that seem like they are up against a giant.  I realized it for myself also as the needs are so great here that I feel like I’m up against a giant.  My comfort is in the fact that God is on my side!    

I noticed that Susette was carrying a small child.  We found out that his name was Jameson and I'm guessing that he was 3 or 4 years old.  It was obvious that his neighbourhood friends had carried him to the feeding centre because he would not have had the strength to walk that far on his own. When she came and sat down beside me I could see how skinny he was, yet his belly was distended.  He was listless and held a blank stare.  She told me that she hasn't seen a child in this state come to the feeding program for a long time.  He was starving.  She knew right away that he must have worms, which is why his belly was bloated and that worms are taking what little nutrients he is receiving.  She felt the Lord leading her to go to his home and talk to his aunt who is his care-giver.  She asked us if we wanted to come with.  At first I just stood there motionless wondering if my heart could bear this, but I knew that I needed to go with her.  Meghan held the precious little boy as we drove to his home.  When we got to the place where he lived, there were many other children there also.  Susette and Olene (the woman who runs both the boys home and the girls home) asked the aunt to please bring Jameson to the feeding centre between 7-8 tomorrow morning and they would make sure he gets fed.  They also plan to take him to a clinic to get medication so that he can get de-wormed.  It was so hard to give him back to his aunt who looked so distraught and overwhelmed with all of the children she was caring for and she did not look healthy either.  I took some comfort in knowing that Jameson will begin getting the help he desperately needs this weekend.  When we returned to the feeding centre, the neighbourhood children were gone and we just sat with Susette and did some processing.  I could not contain my tears any longer.  I know that there are hungry children in the world, but I've never held a starving child and this experience broke my heart.

I woke up many times in the night and my first thought and prayer was for this precious little boy with big brown eyes and long eyelashes whose face I will never forget.   I realize as I am writing that the words to the song in my heart from Hosanna by Hillsong are having an impact on me especially the words Break my heart for what breaks yours and show me how to love like you have loved me.  God’s heart breaks for the injustices in this country and around the world and although I've sung this song so many times before, I think I finally understand vividly today what these words really mean.  I pray that God will use my brokenness so that in my imperfect way, I can love as he has loved me.